This week has been a rough one for me. I feel like I haven’t seen my husband in ages and I’ve been walking around in a fog. I’m hoping next week will be better. This is my list of everything I currently suck at that used to be relatively easy.
Getting out of bed and staying out of bed for an entire day.
This week has been a real struggle on this one. I truly want to get out in the world and do all the things, or even some of the things. My problem is that my body has decided to pretend that the Earth has the gravitational pull of Jupiter. It’s incredibly difficult to force your physical being to move when each cell is at least 2.36 times its normal weight. Yeah, I looked it up and it seems about right. I can still accomplish the task of dragging myself out of bed but it’s extremely exhausting and by the time I make it all the way down the stairs, I need to rest.
I used to dream of food. I loved planning meals, prepping, and creating something that I can savor each bite. Many of my conversations would inevitably end up centered around various dishes and eateries I’d like to try. Now the idea of eating has little to no appeal. I still make dinner for the family but it doesn’t have the same sort of magic it used to have. I blame the medication for this but maybe it’s more than that.
I was like an elephant and I rarely, if ever, forgot things. Now I can’t keep anything straight and even with my list I have, I forget. I know this is frustrating for the hubby but it’s unbearable for me. I feel like an entirely different person. How am I supposed to find myself if I can’t remember where I put my shoes, let alone my marbles?!?!
Doing more than one thing – at all.
I miss multitasking. I didn’t think that was possible. Considering how difficult it’s been to do the things above, I suppose this isn’t a surprise issue. I hate not being productive all of the time though. I feel completely worthless if I can’t get all the things done all at once. I used to be a competent individual, now I’m crap.
I’m hoping I can eventually get back to being good at things again. Maybe not great at things. I need to have more realistic expectations regarding what I can actually accomplish in the 24 hours each day allots me. But anything has to be better than this.