Is it possible for Mole’ the Amazing Muppet Dog to have inappropriate fetishes? She’s always had a thing for feet. She loves sniffing them, licking them, laying on shoes, and eating the occasional (more than occasional) sock. I have a basket dedicated to single socks, looking for their mate. But in laundry, as in real life, only a few lucky socks find their perfect match. The rest of those sorry sods will probably end up being the next craft project, or stay in the basket, waiting for their sole mate (hee hee). Those mates have perished into the dark jaws of death. Death by Mole’.

I thought this was the limit to her underground kinks. Alas, this is not the case. I recently went to pull out a pair of panties from my dresser drawer and have found that a good many of the undergarments were missing a very vital part. This has been an issue with the wee ones’ wonderwears but I had dismissed as her way of helping me deal with the skid-marks so lovingly left behind by my children. She’s a great helper. You should see what she does to kitchen and dining room floors after the minis have spent some time there. So now, she has been sneaking into the hamper and helping herself to ALL of the undergarments she can manage to grab before the fam catches her.  How does one hold an intervention with a labradoodle? The heart to heart I had with her has gone nowhere. She continues to pilfer hampers, drawers, and dryers (yes, dryers). No sock, wonderwear, panty, or manty (the man panty) is safe from her clutches.

I cannot expect the boys to go commando and sock free because of the increasing cost of replacing underclothes. I worry about the intestinal fortitude of my furry friend. Can she handle all the stitched snacks? I suppose time will tell. Until then, I will continue my quest of saving socks, and now ALL undergarments, from certain death and destruction.

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